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A$$ on Fire

Women and Words

Ass on fire. It’s what happens when you eat those really, really hot peppers like Red Savina, Scotch Bonnet and Carolina Reaper. I actually grow a couple of those in pots on my front porch.

What? TMI? Bet I had you going there for a minute, huh?

No this blog isn’t about my pepper growing skills. It has nothing to do with peppers at all. It’s pretty much focused on lesfic, romance to be clear, and the hot women we like to read about on our kindles or listen to in audiobooks.

The tall model thin women with long flowing hair and an irresistible smile with just enough vulnerability.

The handsome, sexy butch who makes you swoon with her sweetness, her biceps, and her ability to lay it down well in the bedroom.

The brunette, the blonde, the redhead with blue, green and/or soulful brown eyes.

You know what I’m…

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a celebration


June 21stis known as National Indigenous People’s Day in Canada. It’s a time for the indigenous people to acknowledge the many achievements, share knowledge of the language, culture and traditions, and to celebrate our resilience.

National Indigenous Day is widely celebrated across the Northwest Territories; it’s an opportunity for the communities to come together, showcase our unique culture and partake in traditional events throughout the day.


I grew up spending most of my Indigenous People’s Day (or known as Aboriginal Day back then) in Fort Providence running wild around the arbor as the adults prepared themselves to compete in traditional events. It was a fun filled day, usually filled with sunshine, smiles and many bugs. Everyone was (and still is) welcome to attend the events and they usually consisted of a fire feeding ceremony, drum dances, fish derby, fiddling, jigging, tea boiling contest, and the list goes on.

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Traditional Love

I see far to much of this kind of disconnect. Most of what I see are parents with their cell phones out and their children calling for them to help, play or just talk to them with no response from the parent until the child raises their voice. Or walking through the mall staring at their cell while their child is crying or running around causing others inconvenience. Put the phones away the children are only young once. Teach your child manners and keep the phone put away while interacting with others.



Last month while my partner and I were living on the warm springs reservation, we’d often eat at the local tribal restaurants, not just for the food, but for the experience of community.

One evening at dinner, I took notice of a grandson and his grandfather who sat close by. After they sat down, I sensed an immediate disconnect as the grandson whipped out his phone to scroll through Instagram and Facebook. I empathized with the Grandfather’s look of disappointment and dis-connect while his grandson smiled from the connection his device brought him. As the phone sat open on the table and full the grandson’s attention, the grandfather sat looking around the room, attempting to talk to those around him about his day. His stories and conversations filled the room with laughter and intrigue, while to grandson continued to scroll.

Witnessing this particular interaction really stuck with me, and afterwads…

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so many books sooooooo little time.

Women and Words

You guys.

WTAF IT’S COMING UP ON JULY I CAN’T EVEN. Here in the northern hemisphere it’s all summer up in here, and some of us are roasting away (most of us?) while those in the southern are entering the wintery phase. But no matter the weather, THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR READING AMIRITE.

To see the lists, hit the link


And if you know of a book coming out in the very near future or you’re an author/publisher who has one coming out in the very near future, drop us a line at the contact link above to let us know and PLEASE include a link to the title so we can add that, too. THANKS!

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Sometimes, I feel so tender about the world.  I mean about the mayflies, and the rockfish babies, and the fox with her kits, and the butterflies in British forests, and the woodpecker hunting for her young, even when what she hunts are baby birds in other nests.

Yes, yes, it’s absolutely true that, like the estimable  Mr. Berry:

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time

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Demisexuality is characterized by a lack of sexual attraction toward any person unless they become deeply emotionally or romantically connected with a specific person or persons. The level of connection it takes for sexual desire to form is dependent on how close the relationship is rather than initial attraction. It is an orientation that is not chosen.

Demi- is a prefix meaning half. This is used to mean halfway between sexual and asexual. The term originated in the asexual community, specifically within the Asexual Visibility and Education Network

“I used to think my sex drive was ‘broken’ or nonfunctional until I learned about asexuality. Then I found something new and exciting.

This is how I have felt my whole life. I could not figure out what girls found so interesting in boys. Then I realized I was a lesbian. Then I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t feel any pull or sexual attraction to other women. I thought I was broken, that there was something wrong with me. I was resigned to spending my life by myself with no one to make love with. I figured I was asexual for sure but then I realized that spending a lot of time with some of the women I have spent time with has given me a warm, pleasant feeling in the nether regions so I couldn’t be fully asexual. I dropped the whole what the hell is wrong with me sexually for a few years until the other day.

On the 17th of June in the year 2018 I finally figured it out when I stumbled on these 2 websites:     &

By reading, taking a little test and just searching inside myself I have found I am a demisexual aromantic demiromantic) lesbian. Demisexual is a term used for people who experience sexual attraction and can enjoy intimacy, but don’t actively seek it out and often require a deep personal connection before being intimate. Demisexual people often have lower sex drives, but are not completely asexual. Demiromantic people experience romantic attraction, but are not drawn to romance and do not actively seek it out. I had found a label that fit me.

Now for someone who really doesn’t like labels applied to people I was nonplussed because I had a label that applied to me and explained what I did not know about myself. I suppose everyone in some small way wants to be like everyone else then when they realize that they aren’t it becomes a bit unnerving not to mention lonely. Constantly looking for that piece of information that helps you identify something about yourself that is just like others settles the loneliness. I have been telling people for several years now, if I am in a discussion with others about sexuality, and attraction that I needed to have a bond with someone before I can move into a relationship. Little did I know there was actually a term for it.

I have been browsing the internet, downloading books and generally driving myself crazy trying to find everything I can on demisexuality (demiromantic). I am currently reading a book I found on Demisexuality that I found on, called All About Demisexuality by It is a kindle edition and cost $5.99 Cdn. It is quite interesting so far and informative. I’ll share some of the information I have learned in another post.

Needless to say I have  added a lot some Tumblr blogs to my following list. The stupidest response to adding one page that was supposed to be a demisexual blog was ‘Are you a gold star lesbian? (meaning have a slept with a man or not). Not sure if they enjoyed my reply to their inane question or not. Nor do I know if they removed me from their blog which I don’t give a crap about if they did. There is no such thing as a gold star lesbian. It is a baby dyke way of distinguishing themselves from those of us who lived a life that required us to hide and be who we weren’t from those who get to ride our coattails enjoying the benefits of not having to adapt or hide. Putting a label like that one or that a demisexual is a lesbian in the closet is another piece of idiocy that needs to go away. A person who is demisexual is a person with a sexual orientation that is different from hetero, homo, asexual, etc. It is different but a part of the overall sphere of sexual attraction/orientation.  It is amazing that a group of people who spent centuries hiding who they were from others could be so frigging intolerant of others.

Anyway being a lesbian demiromantic is going to be interesting. To find someone interested enough to spend time getting to know each other to see if that sexual attraction develops can be a disappointing thing if it doesn’t. Oh well at least I might get a new friend out of it.

Sexual partner: Hey, I think you are sexy. *aroused*
Demisexual partner: I’d have to reach a higher level of emotional intimacy before I could feel the same way. =\
Sexual partner: Oh, I see. Well, we can do something enjoyable together. =/
Demisexual partner: =D We can bake a cake for now!
Sexual partner: Sure! That’s always fun, although we seem to be doing that a lot. =D
Demisexual partner: *squeeebonding time!*

Women and Words


Last October when I was in Provincetown for Women’s Week, I had the opportunity to interview a bunch of authors on camera, but due to a technical difficulty (user error, I’m sure), I just now gained access to this gem featuring Bold Strokes Books authors Dena Blake and Lisa Moreau. Be sure to listen in and then pick up their excellent romances – you’ll be glad you did!

Vlog with Lisa Moreau and Dena Blake

To Purchase:

A Country Girl’s Heart

Picture Perfect

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Women and Words

IMG_6730 Welcome to Bucharest!

So my BFF (and travel partner) and I have been running around Romania this month. Last week was Bucharest – where Michael Jackson apparently made the faux pas of enthusiastically shouting “Hello, Budapest!” to thousands of gathered fans. Sadly, it appears to be a common mistake. Admittedly, before coming here, I did want to visit Hungary and explore Budapest (I hear the buildings are incredible!), but took it off the table this summer because of visa reasons.

This trip to Romania has been far from a disappointment, though. Part of the allure of foreign traveling these days is to temporarily divorce myself from the endless media coverage of 45. It seems like every day, something happens around that noxious orange cloud that the media gleefully reports, a state of affairs that makes me want to duck under a shock blanket until the next election. So for that…

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As I hit 49…

~Bernadette Noll

I want to age like sea glass. Smoothed by tides, not broken. I want the currents of life to toss me around, shake me up and leave me feeling washed clean. I want my hard edges to soften as the years pass — made not weak, but supple. I want to ride the waves, go with the flow, feel the impact of the surging tides rolling in and out.

When I am thrown against the shore and caught between the rocks and a hard place, I want to rest there until I can find the strength to do what is next. Not stuck — just waiting, pondering, feeling what it feels like to pause. And when I am ready, I will catch a wave and let it carry me along to the next place that I am supposed to be.

I want to be…

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