My shadow like my solid form hid from the sight of others. We danced among the shadows hoping to prevent who we really were from being seen. An ethereal presence in our own life. Afraid of being hurt, disregarded and yet we were compounding that one thing we were trying to avoid. We built a wall to cover our tracks, hide our essence, to keep us on our feet so our emotional fragility is left intact. We, my shadow and I,  coasted through life with no real attachments until one day not so long ago a beautiful presence wandered into our lives. From that point on there was no stability and no place to hide because everywhere we turned there she was.  Whether in physical form, a thought or even a tiny emotion running through our mind she was there undermining all that had been built up throughout the years until one night our world opened up and a wall came tumbling down.

When the softest pair of lips touched mine and the leaves that had enclosed the flower that was me opened letting in the warmth of the sun, of life and allowed me to see what I had been missing I didn’t have a clue what to do.  Life returned to withering  petals and slowly they began to unfurl soaking in the rays of sunshine that she shared with me that night.  She was and always will be the lifeline between my soul and my heart. Whether this connection was meant to be or not it is there and I cannot sever it although I have tried. I still feel her pressed against me, her lips on mine, her hands exploring where they wanted to. Just as much as I can still taste her skin, smell who she is, and lose myself in the most gorgeous pair of honeydew eyes.            

I am endeavoring to tuck her away in my memories where she will have to remain safe and secure until I can bring her out into the open once more. When I will have control of the emotions that well up at each thought of her that runs through my mind. I know that I will always love her despite what I told her but life has deemed that I am not to have this dream. Let’s hope it knows who I am going to be allowed to love, if anyone.

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